Happy' preview
by Mimi Keehl-Jeevas
Summary: Okay so this is only a shortish preivew for my new story,Happy,sucky title i know but i couldn't think of what to call it if i'm honest. Anyway,this is just to see if people actually like it and if it's worth actually typing the whole story up and posting it.


**A/N: Okay so I felt the urge to write a Matt x Mello story,but this is only a preview to see what you guys think and if I should write it or not. If i did write it it would probably be in third person or from Matt and Mello's POV' yeah..**

**Please read and tell me what you think by either reviewing or PMing me *huggles* **

**Warning:may contain hints of rape,swearing,etc etc yeah well its rated M for a reason. Though I'm probably being paranoid.**

Dear Mother and Father,

I can't go on like this anymore. The crushing pain of being locked away for so long is unbarable and the fact that you didn't trust your own flesh and blood is unforgivable. You had made my whole life my own private little hell,keeping me from the outside world and reality,scared I'd tell of the things you've done.I was living a nightmare and with muliple lies and becoming a very good actor over the years of torture got me by,making you think that I was the perfect little son that you've always wanted,following your every command,no matter what it may be..

I didn't want it to come to this but I guess that it may have to. I never wanted to hurt you Mother,you had always tried your best for me,dealing with finding out that you married a monster must have been unbelieveably hard,but the fact that you gave up helping me escape after just one small year is a fact that I can't ever forgive you for. I needed to breathe.I had to start being true to myself. I couldn't keep living in that man's shadow anymore.

But you Father,You deserve all of this...every last bit of what's going to happen..

We had always been heading different ways,I was just too different from everyone.I always have been and I had always had that drilled into me from a small age by none other than you,so you can't expect any different from me,now can you? I'm just that red headed freak who,and I quote is 'a good for nothing little slut,who will never amount to anything' ..even though I am remarkably smarter than both of you put together,funny really, considering how I was brought up..?

I was afraid to show my emotions for such a long time that I trapped myself away in the fantasy world of video games and saw the world through orange tinted light.I still do,but the only difference now is that I feel safe.

I gave up trying to please you the first time you ever raped me.I now had to please you in a completely different way.I was five years old,Father..._Five years old _and you still thought it was a perfectly acceptable thing to do? what was going through your sick and twisted mind every time you abused me,I would love to know. I know that I will never get over this fully,it will always be in my mind somewhere deep at the back of my mind,even after all of the therapy I have been through.

I can swear I can still hear your footsteps coming up the stairs at night,my door creaking open and you bruising my wrists in that tight grip of yours,while your breath is on my neck.I still have every little detail stuck in my head and most nights I can't sleep out of fear that you'll find me and it will happen again.

No one should have to feel like that.

I hate everything about you,the way that you only treated me as if I was a possesion of yours,a sex slave even,sickens me to my core,yet I still blame myself for never stopping you.I know that I have done nothing to deserve this,yet at the same time I feel responsable for not being what you wanted.I'm not as fragile as you think that I am.I longed for somebody to help me escape,and every night I would pray that I would wake up from this disaster of a childhood life.

And that's when I met him.. My blond haired beauty of an guardian angel. He's the only one whose helped me through this,without each other to lean on we wouldn't have gotten through most nights..

I'm not that young boy anymore and you cannot control me,In fact I doubt you would even recgonise me. It's safe to say that I'm not afraid anymore.I've always been an outcast,yet I'm proud of that fact. It's far better than being some bitter twisted and money hungry old man,commanding every little detail of his only child's life,don't you agree? I guess some of that manipulative and vengeful behavoiur must have passed on down to me as I used to get scared of you and what your actions would be if you found any of this out would be,yet here I am,telling you my most inner thoughts.

And guess what? I've become everything that you have never wanted me to be..

...Happy...

Signed,

Mail 'Matt' Jeevas.


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